Such a crazy week.. My head is so full and my heart aches..
I got a call from our higher Headquarters, asking for me tto justify my job.. Yeah, that was fun. Apparently they completed a manpower survey between when I was hired and when the previous analyst retired and determined that my position was not needed.. Little more on that, the soldier that they had filling in was only working on the Travel part of my job, which accounted for 75% of his job and the Brigade has taken over the budget side of the position which is currently 50% of my job. Now when I came on board, I took over both. Do the Math.. My workload is consistantly at 125%, meaning that I need help.. As much as I rock at work, I always feel like I am behind. I need help. Desperately. But back to justifying my job. The gentleman who called me, wouldn't tell me where or whom had told him to call me, (gotta love highers being vague) But said that he was working on sending a justification to DA to keep me.. I had asked him if he had spoken with my Boss and he hadn't... Why the hell would you go to the end user and not my command? It made no sense to me.. I filled my boss in, and had him call the Higher, they had a discussion, blah, blah, blah.. Told me not to worry.. But I did and do.. Hopefully, everything will be okay.. At least I know that while working on Government, nothing moves quickly, and I have been told that I am on the TDA for the next 3 years. Just pissed me off that they would call and worry me for nothing.
Next issue
Ran into Aarons sister at the conference, twice. Didn't talk much to her the first time, but did the second.. Now he's trying to contact me again. Please go the Fuck away.
Next..
Got a call from Lacey tonight that my mom had called the neighbor from Texas to Catch up. She was told that Charlotte was living back in Denver and is 38 weeks pregnant with a boy. I still haven't seen my neice Abby, and she is 3. Char has been on my mind quite a bit recently. I miss my sister. I miss her so much it feels like my soul is ripping into little pieces. But for her to be living in the same town as the rest of the family and to be pregnant and almost due without anyone in the family knowing.. It's just wrenching.. I grieve for the loss of my sister. It was her choice to have no contact with us, and it pains me that I have lost so much time with her, but that my kids won't know what it is like to have cousins around. That hurts much worse. I grieve. For her, me. The hurt that has been caused to my parents, My mom and the kids those are the ones that are innocent and did nothing wrong and suffer the most. I just wish, I wish I could call her, could be there for her. I want to know the kids.. I miss her laugh and humor. It's odd talking about a family member in the past tense when I know that she is living within a 20 mile radius of me.
Enough of this.. I have got to find that happy place again.
Night
